"I Can't!" he yelled as he quickly got back up onto this feet.
The tears were already flowing. Even through his headgear, I could see his red face and his glassy eyes. Even if I were unable to see his face I could still determine that he had given up. His shoulders were slouched forward, his former sure footed movements became uncertain. His once determination to move only forward, became backward movements programmed in his brain through his acceptance of failure.
"I Can't" he screamed once again, as again he found himself on the ground.
I called him over to me "What is it that you can't do?" I asked him as I knelt onto my knees to be alignment with his eyes. "This" he exclaimed. "And what is this" I asked. He told me that sparring is too hard and he doesn't want to do it anymore. "I am confused" I told him "Just a few minutes ago you were loving it when sparring with Johnny. What changed?"
He sniffled as he struggled to find an answer while taking off his hand gear and headgear. As he thought of how to tell me why "he can't" I interrupted his thought pattern and said "How can you tell me that you can't do something that you are already doing?"
He looked puzzled as he thought upon my words. I continued "It is not that you can't, it is that you are finding this activity that you enjoy to be more difficult when facing a worthy adversary. There is no victory against a week opponent. To face a challenge means that you are facing something that provides you difficult. If that was not the case than a challenge would be label a gift. Gifts are just given, often times not earned through hard work. You had your gift when you sparred someone of less skill than you. Now you must earn your success. That can only be found by facing your challenge. You faced the challenge, but did not receive the immediate gift that you wanted."
Thinking of an answer, he finally said "Yeah, but he still beat me." "It is not about him beating you" I taught, "It is about you beating yourself. To allow a moment in time to deter you from an activity that builds you is foolish. As a child you walked, and you fell, and you cried. You don't even remember those times. Do you know why? Because you accepted the challenge, you stood again, fell again, stood again, and eventually you were victorious over the challenge because you knew that you were greater than the fall. Be greater than the fall now. Use the energy that you are using now to avoid the challenge, be the same energy to propel you forward. I am not saying that you will be successful your next try, BUT you will be successful at facing your challenge. You will be successful in silencing your fear, to one day claim your victory through participation. One day, after many times of falling, you will stand, walk, and even run."
As he listened, his tears dried upon his face. He adjusted his headgear, put back on his hand gear, pulled back his shoulders and turned around.
"Where are going" I said to him. "To face my challenge." was his reply.
How you faced your failures and classified them as challenge to overcome with preparation, determination, and the acceptance of falling many times before you stand firmly?
A victory not achieved now does not mean that victory is not yours. It only means that victory is not yours right now. This supplies a life lesson for child and adult alike to continue onward learning, experiencing, participating, and growing. Do not give up when faced with failure. Embrace it, it means that you are doing what many are no longer doing...LIVING!