You are not alone.
Have you experienced the “ I don’t want to go anymore” statement from your child yet?
There are two kinds of parents.
1. The parent who has already heard this. And
2. The parent who will hear this.
So what do you do? It may not be easy, but you stay the correct course. What is the correct course? Well, that depends on your parenting.
It is the painful reality that today many parents choose not to parent and instead allow for their child to run their family. If that statement offends you, it may be because you are that parent. I had a psychologist friend put it this way “If you allow a little puppy who has no knowledge of danger to run off leash you cannot be surprised when he puts himself in the position to be hit by a vehicle. When you place him on a leash, he will fight, he will resist, he will pull, he may bark, even bite the leash. But in time he becomes “leash trained”. All that means is that he accepts he will not get his way and he submits. The problem with today’s parenting is that the parents have become the puppies. They submit to the will of the children and that has become a dangerous way to parent.” Ouch! But how true.
It is not easy when your child wants to rebel against things that you believe in. But parenting simply is not easy. Here are some things to keep in mind:
1. Listen. Sometimes a child wants to feel that they are being heard. Listen to them. In this listening comes the opportunity to teach them.
2. Teach. You have wisdom on your side. You have lived a longer life do you know where the path of quitting leads to. This is an opportunity to teach them about the value of their word, the value of commitment and following through.
3. Dictate. This is hard for some parents. “ I don’t like to force my child into doing anything he/she doesn’t want to do”. Really? Your child one day may want to quit school. Are you ok with that choice. They may bring home the local drug dealer who abuses his girlfriend. Are you ok with that? She may want to drive your vehicle without a license or drunk. Are you ok with that? When you see something is valuable, correct, legal, or serves a purpose, you enforce it. This is no different. The honest truth is that the parent gets tired of bringing the child. Or the parent finds that it is difficult for his or her schedule. Or the parent just doesn’t want to honor their commitment. It starts with us, the parents.
4. Implement with Consistency. Once you have dictated that they will come to class STICK TO IT. Select which day they will attend and stick to it. This way they know each week that it is a priority.
I have never had a parent come back to me after their child has used their skills to stop a bully, protect a friend, or stop themselves from being taken, and say “I wish that never kept my child in your classes.” But I have had too many parents come to me after something has happened to their child and say “I wish I would of enrolled my child.” Wishing doesn’t make it happen, action does.
This week I red an article about a kid who told his mom that he wanted to quit baseball. He wasn’t having a good year and it was no longer fun for him. His mother found something that meant a lot to him...his brother. She told her eldest son that he could quit if he tells his brother that it is ok to quit in life when things get difficult. Instead, her eldest son pushed through. This pst week he pitched in his first playoff game. A picture was taken of this young man jumping up to hug his mother to thank him for not allowing him to quit. We should all be that parent.
Are you?